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Sunday, 7 January 2018

January Blues

January blues are the worst. There I said it. After all the excitement of Christmas and New Year has died down, there comes a moment shortly afterwards where all the festivities settle down and everything just seems a bit flat. The weather is cold, dreary and miserable which just leaves me feeling worse. I've tried to keep my spirits and motivation up by planning my goals for the year as something to strive towards and ignite that spark inside me again and begin to utilise these plans as soon as possible. But I've also taken time to reflect on the past year and the goals I set for myself and assess why they did or didn't get fulfilled.

I personally didn't achieve all my goals from last year and I've decided to not dwell on it very much like I usually would. It was mainly little bits and pieces anyway. The ones I really wanted to improve on I achieved so I'm satisfied. I did debate that usual blogger post of new goals and reflecting on last year's but I found myself not having the energy to be honest. I think with all the posts and tweets about goals on social media it's easy to compare and to beat yourself up about the things you didn't do and I don't think we should. There is so much more to life.

I read a brilliant tweet the other day which basically summed up how I was feeling about January so far: "I've decided my 2018 will start on February 1st, January is a free trial month"(@Judgment) and this couldn't be more true to me. I feel like I'm going to just deal with the dramas that January is apparently bringing to me right now. Ride it out. And by February I'm going to start afresh properly and with a positive mental attitude.

I usually don't share on this blog when I'm feeling low but I find it somewhat therapeutic at the moment to get my thoughts down. I've just felt this month has become a total right off already. Normally I'm one of those folk who is so motivated and hyped up for the coming year, but this year I feel exhausted by the thought of it. I think it's a combination of this wind pipe infection I've had over the Christmas period which still hasn't buggered off and there's been some difficult family issues going on for a while now which are finally taking their toll on me. I've gone from being someone that loved ones can confide in to being the person on the receiving end of sly digs and petty arguments over silly things that months ago wouldn't have even been a big deal, but now suddenly they are and I've become the target that they take their anger, frustration and resentment out on, as well as being taken advantage of. Of course I hold my own and stick up for myself but when it is every day, it just leaves me feeling mentally and physically drained the majority of the time and on edge constantly for when the next petty argument arises. I feel overwhelmed a lot more quickly and uncomfortable in what once was considered a safe space to me. I'm fortunate I have my boyfriend and friends that are a huge help and provide me a happy escape from the stresses of home life right now and I'm lucky I have people I can talk to, but when I do, I feel this constant guilt of burdening people with my worries and on top of how I'm already feeling, it's exhausting. Does anyone else ever get this feeling? Everything feels chaotic right now and I hang on to the hope that things will eventually get better and my positivity will return too.

Thanks to anyone who reads this rather miserable post from me, sorry it's not my usual style and that I'm not my usual self right now but hopefully by sharing my thoughts it can relieve me of some of the overwhelm and I can try to move forward. I really appreciate you listening to my thoughts. I'm going to take some time out to get myself in a better frame of mind so when I come back I will be feeling myself again. Take care everyone & I will catch up with you very soon! 
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8 comments

  1. I'm new to your blog so you don't know me, but I just wanted to say that I know how you're feeling! I wrote a somewhat similar post on my blog right now, and I get where you're coming from. There's this expectation that January is the time for fresh new starts and doing new things, when actually, if things haven't really changed, it can have the opposite effect and make you feel really low.

    I'm sorry things aren't going well for you on the home front, and I hope that it will get better soon. Your home is supposed to be your sanctuary, the one place you can escape to, so when things aren't right there then everything feels out of whack. I'm sending hugs your way. xx

    Sneha | lifewithsneha.com

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    1. Honestly thank you so much for this comment Sneha, it has meant the absolute world to me to hear I'm not alone in feeling this way so thank you again for that, I really appreciate it so much <3 I hope you have been starting to feel better recently, I'm always here if you need someone to talk to :) Sending you lots of hugs <3I read your post too after seeing this comment and it totally resonated with how I was feeling and I agree! It definitely can have the opposite effect.
      Thank you for the kind words, its true, home is supposed to feel safe and an escape and hadn't really been feeling that way all that much. I really hope things at home do start to pick up, they have been slightly better this past week so I'm hoping this will continue to improve over time, fingers crossed! xx

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  2. Ah I'm suffering with the January Blues majorly this year too. Buttttt I have recently done a massive wardrobe clear out and you're right - it did clear up some mind space and I felt better for it! xx

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    1. Thank you for this comment Eloise, so glad to hear I'm not alone in feeling this way :) I hope you have started to feel better with the January blues, sending you lots of hugs your way <3 After seeing your comment I managed to have a good clear out too and I agree it has definitely improved my head space so I can focus on everything else :) xx

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  3. I have had all these exact feelings before - I do find waking up early helps (strange but true) even though I also LOVE my sleep!

    https://lizziedailyblog.blogspot.com/

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    1. Thanks for the comment Elizabeth, I'm glad I haven't been the only one feeling this way and I hope you feel much better, sending lots of hugs <3 haha I also love my sleep too but I'll definitely give that a try, thanks for the recommendation :D xx

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  4. I'm sorry to hear about your recent issues from last year which carried on into 2018. I hope you feel back to normal soon.😕 I will admit, nonetheless, the January blues are terrible. Literally, I feel like the weather outside really sets a downer on your mood,too.

    #sweetreats xx www.bakingboutiquebirds.blogspot.co.uk/

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    1. Thank you for the kind words, it really means the world to me <3 I hope they do too, things have perked up this past week so I'm hoping it will continue to improve over time, fingers crossed! I agree, January has been pretty rubbish and yeah the miserable weather definitely doesn't help with my mood. I've come to the conclusion I'm definitely more of a sun worshipper than I realised haha, hopefully when the brighter nights come that should be perk me up :) xx

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