Violet Daffodils

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August 21, 2015

Birthday-Eve Thoughts

Hello lovelies!

Tomorrow is my birthday, I can't quite believe I'm turning 23. Where has the time gone?!
I'm normally pretty excited about my birthdays. Like a child on Christmas day, but this year I find myself feeling indifferent this year. I hope I do get out of this little funk I'm in right now because I do have plans for my birthday and I want to be in the best mood to celebrate the festivities.

It's a mix of two things, one is timing. I feel this year has flew over ridiculously faster than most years. I graduated last year and thought that 2014 would fly over but it didn't. I dragged on and on. For some reason this year has zoomed by and I've barely had time to just sit and mull things over from last year and plan things well in advance like I usually do. 

The last thing is loss. Earlier this year my Granddad passed away and he was a large part of my life. He used to live with us so I used to see him everyday and although I feel I have come to terms with his passing a lot more than I had months ago, I was warned that the first year is always the hardest and that you'll go through a lot of firsts without him (first birthday, first Christmas, etc.) which is so true. This is my first birthday without him and as my birthday has got closer and closer, it has also reminded me of that advice more and more. I know after my birthday, these firsts will continue. His birthday is in September and then it's my Mam's birthday without her Dad and then Christmas and then the anniversary of his death (which is so morbid to even think about).It is really overwhelming in all honesty.

To be honest I have no idea why I have decided to pour all that out in a blog post but maybe it's my way of processing what is going on by putting it out there. I don't want to feel this wash of sadness on what is supposed to be a happy occasion but I know it is better to get it all out today rather than tomorrow.

On a positive note I was surprised by my Mam earlier with a slice of red velvet cake that she picked up from Caffé Nero in the town (my favourite!) as an early birthday treat, my 'birthday-eve cake' as I have now coined it. How cute is she please?! She's always really thoughtful like that :)
Despite my funk today, I do have some lovely plans. Tomorrow will be spent with my boyfriend. We have lunch booked at the Botanist in Newcastle for a change. I'd been to the one in Leeds and thought it was amazing so looking forward to trying the Newcastle one. Then off to see Inside Out finally! I've been wanting to see it for ages but life got completely in the way so looking forward to seeing that film. 

If you have seen it, I'd love to know your thoughts on it. My friend went to see it and loved the Lava short at the beginning, so I'm excited to see what it is. She told us the song was really catchy, so I'm expecting to be singing it constantly afterwards haha!
I went for a lovely meal with my Mam and Dad on Wednesday as a pre-birthday celebration. Although we live together, we're always doing different things and work different times so it was great to be able to sit down the three of us and spend some quality time together. Then I have plans with my friends from work. We're going for a meal at Fiume and then going out into town. The following week I'm going for some delicious cocktails at River Bar with my friend from school so the next few weeks will be sociable ones :)

Also I have a few posts in the pipeline so keep an eye out for those in the future. In the meantime you can follow me on the links below for more frequent posts. Have a great day! 

Thanks for reading! <3
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